Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
