is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
