The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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