You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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