You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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