He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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