Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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