chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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