Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
