I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
