Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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