yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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