There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
