3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize