Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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