I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well you can't waste a boner
i dont even know how to be here
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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