i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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