there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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