Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
