Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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