Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
