had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
