thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
