drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize