i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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