I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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