hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
