Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
