i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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