I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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