please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
