Yo dont text me then not text me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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