Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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