Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize