is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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