I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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