so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
