Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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