I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
