I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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