Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
honey bunches of taint.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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