Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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