Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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