i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
