The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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