I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
