Quick, to the slutcave!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You dont lie about slip and slides
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
