last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
