You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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