he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
