It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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