I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
