how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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