I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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