omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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