Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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