feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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