Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
