I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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