Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
