I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize