I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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